Teachings of Pain – Suffering from Illusions

“I can see what you see not. Vision milky, then eyes rot.”
“If you look it will be gone, whispering its hidden song.”

We live in a world full of confusion, our minds spinning illusions, casting us into places as dark as the deepest pits of Ganzir. It is strange how the mind works, creating concepts and fantasies based on incorrect observations and hollow promises, thereby giving life to a “possible” future that will never exist, for the illusion that was created resides only in the mind of the deluded.

Illusions are very tricky, for it often assumes a form that is pleasurable to the one who creates it.  But when the veil of selfdeception is lifted an illusion has the nasty habit of backfiring. It consumes the creator with feelings of shame, doubt, and self-loathing. It makes one feel a real fool, for how can one be so blind?

How can one not see what’s right in front of him?

What evil is this?

What spell has been cast on me?

It is just amazing how well human beings excell in deceiving themselves. It is truly sad, but unfortunately it is an all to real part of what it means to be “human”. It is one of the great flaws in our design. I am not entirely sure why humans create such selfdeceiving illusions, but I do know that they are often born from desires of the heart.

While lifting the veils of deception is a painful process it also serves to ground the desillusioned person firmly to reality. This is not a fun process I can tell you! Though it is necessary, for if not released of these bonds of illusion one might suffer irreparable damage.

“I am torn, by this illusion,
I feel forlorn, and in confusion.
I heard this call, and answered with desire,
Now my teardrops fall, and my soul is on fire.
There is no love, where love should be,
Oh Gods above, have mercy on me!
There truly is, nothing to gain,
No sweet kiss, but only pain.
In my mind, this looked so great,
But I did find, love nor hate.
All this time, that we did spend,
It was sublime, yet now I lament.
My only wish, was being together,
No love there is, I should have known better…”

Dumu Abzu-a.


5 replies »

  1. Makes my heart both bleed for you, yet beat of pride.
    I’m proud of you for making the effort you do to break down the illusions and to adapt to the landscape you now see with new eyes. The more honest and true you see the situation, the better starting point you have. … For what?

    For DREAMS! What is the difference between an illusion and a dream? An illusion often work to protect you from reality and make it easier for you to deal with it emotionally. Breaking loose from it demands a whole lot of energy and time, and although I think it’s good to break free from illusions, I hope you don’t forget to dream. Some dreams may appear as illusions because they are ‘visions’ about a wanted result in future, but are none.

    Dreams are part of what drives you forward and something every human needs. I hope you keep dreaming even though you make a brilliant job in breaking loose from your illusions, and value the importancy of dreaming and realize the power in imagination.


  2. Unfortunately this is a very complicated subject… I do dream, but I dream of impossible things, and those dreams feed the illusion, for how do I separate this dream from the illusion if some of them appear as such?

    Ahhh… The power of imagination…. That’s exactly the thing that gets me into trouble. 😉


  3. Well… There are several things in the picture here;
    Do there exist useful illusions? If not, you separate by what holds/sets you back, and what helps you forward, when you’ve considered the factors in the ‘game’. Illusions serve to keep you from reality, while dreams do best when based on the actual reality.
    There’s also a difference I think if your dream is dependent of only you and your choices in order to reach it (as in determination, of course you touch other people – that you do no matter what choices in life you take), or if it is dependent of one or more peoples emotions. Of course you can do actions to trigger or manipulate a feeling, but then I think the dream is transferring over to an illusion as it’s no longer based on reality.
    It’s not the imagination which gets you into trouble, it’s the choices you make inspired by the imagination. If you have a dream, you’ve made a choice. If you have an illusion, you once made a choice too. Subconscious or consciously.

    You really are getting to learn yourself on a deeper level here – I’m excited for you!! 😀


  4. Brother, you have a desire…and that desire is no different than that of nearly every other man alive today. some let those desires cloud their usually rational thought, therefore throwing them into a veritable Maelstrom of intense emotional periods, both good and bad. you have endured this last month or so very well, as far as i can tell. and, in turn, it has allowed you to prepare yourself for the next time…the next time this desire rears its “pretty” head. Cheers.


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