“The Necronomicon is a work of Shamanism, a work of sorcery. It is evil if we believe that our negative emotions are evil. It comes from deep within a well of suspicion and disgust, and these emotions — anger, rage, hatred — are what we use to survive the forces of nature and the unwanted violent attentions of our fellow human beings.” (Dead Names by Simon, page 313)
Our Dear Simon couldn’t have been more right about this, for the “evil” emotions are exactly what keeps us going in times of great distress. It are primal survival mechanisms which fill us with dark power in order to give stability to one’s distraught being. It are negative emotions, yet they can make us feel like gods, dark powerful gods. It is not a pleasant feeling, but it is mandatory for becoming grounded firmly to reality once more. It are emotions of purification, even though they are feelings of darkness. They serve to cleanse one’s being of various emotive states that are counterproductive to the one afflicted, pleasurable though they might be, for as most of us know that many forms of pleasure are not what they appear to be, as they are often forms of suffering instead. This twisted perception of the concept of pleasure is shared by many human beings, especially by those who are still “asleep”. It takes great self exploration and realization for a person to come to grips with this unwanted illusion. Most are blind to these truths, but those who venture on the Path of Life will be painfully aware of this twist in perception. This awareness can cause quite a shock to the magician, for he becomes aware of his own shackels that bind him with illusions and misguided desires. He sees how this affects the world and mankind in general, for it becomes clear that many people are under the spell of this twisted perception. They love to suffer, mistaking the feeling for pleasure. They long for its razor sharp caress, basking in the feeling they call pleasure, yet being torn apart by its gutwrenching touch.
As we inhabit human bodies we are no exception in these matters, for this war rages in all of us. Yet we are able to do something about it, for our awareness allows us so. We not only know how to bend the negative to the positive, but we are also able to do it the other way round, turning the incorrectly perceived positive into a firmly grounding negative, thus drawing on a deep well of hatred and disgust in order to accomplish this.
At a very young age I learned that the negative emotions, like anger, hatred, rage, are very powerful forces that can be either used as the negative forces they are, but can also be used for positive means. As I explained earlier I was under the spell of a powerful illusion which tainted my rational thought and caused great turmoil in my being. This caused great weakness and pain in me, as I was overwhelmed with an unquenchable desire for a forbidden fruit. I wanted to taste it so bad. I longed for its sweetness with a passionate desire. It burned in my loins, and in my entire being. I cannot remember the last time I longed for something so badly. It consumed me with a fiery hunger for the flesh of this incarnate desire. The spiritual magnificence of this embodied desire had a profound effect on me, for in its eyes I recognized the spark of the divine. But when I beheld the face of this manifested desire I cried. I broke into tears of joy, for this desire wore the face of the great Queen of Heaven and Earth, the great Inanna, Goddess of Love and Passion, the great Irninni, the Most Perfect Lady, Ishtar, the Warrior Goddess. This desire perfectly resembled its resplendent spiritual inside in its outward form, for its magnificence is unequalled. It seemed that the very love and devotion for my goddess, the great Bright Rising, Daughter of the Moon, the Most Exalted Lady, who is great in the Heavens, and great on the Earth, had manifested a deep desire which had lurked within the depths of my ancient spirit. For it seemed that she had blessed me by bestowing on me my most precious need. It made me feel ecstatic, for this occurence showed all the signs of the goddess’ favor, and an oracular revelation from a dedicated servant of the DinGir seemed to confirm my thoughts.
There was a problem, however, for this desire, though manifested, was out of reach. This pained me greatly, for the longing in my soul burned as hot as the Fires of Hell. By interacting with this very desire I stared into the Abyss, and the Abyss stared back at me, gazing deep into my very soul, slowly taking hold of me with talons made of blackness and despair.
My interaction with this desire casted a great spell of illusion on me, and in my mind my desire took on faces it did not possess. I was blinded to the truth, yet it is human nature to actively pursue the very thing you want so bad, as there is always this little glimmer of hope that things will work out the way you picture them. For it was said by a wise person to: “Never say never“.
Therefore I wonder to myself what these words actually mean, and how complicated its meaning, for if there is this slightest chance that the desire can be realized how can one abandon hope?
The answer to this must lie in the question if this desire is sentient and has its own thoughts and desires. For if it does it may not want to comply to your wishes or needs. When this happens one is greatly impacted by thoughts of confusion and despair. One feels great mourning and loss, shame and disgust. One mourns for the self, for the wishes are not granted and the illusion is shattered. One experiences loss, as the shackels of the illusion are cast off one begins to realize that what could have been, or should have been, will never be. The shame is caused by the feelings of being stupid for having been so caught up in this illusion, as one cannot comprehend why this happened. One just cannot see how the signs could have been misread. It is greatly confusing, and one is filled with disgust when this confusion has passed. One is disgusted with the self for having laid bare one’s very soul to a desire that held nothing but empty promises and broken dreams. One loathes the self for having been so weak and so blind, and the feelings caused by the warm glow of the loving touch of Inanna are slowly replaced by much darker emotions. Negativly charged powerful feelings which come from deep within the darkest pits of the soul. They are the reaction of the primal mind which unconsciously activates as an answer to the sickness of the spirit, caused by the illusion of pleasure that made one suffer these pains of the soul. All the hatred, rage, disgust, and self-loathing are sickening emotions to experience, yet they serve a beneficial purpose, that of healing the spirit.
They are only evil if we believe they are evil.