A Lamentation to One’s Personal God, or ILU MUŠALIMMU, as Found in LUDLUL BÊL NÊMEQI

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

My mind is confused yet my heart sings with joy, for the ways of Enmenduranki have returned to us! The implications of this very occurrence are nigh on incomprehensible, as we are standing at the very front of a people, a legion, who will usher in a new age of change, prosperity, and spirituality. Slowly we will transform and grow, our very beings clothed in melammu, shining with a brightness that once, long ago, crowned the creatures of Tiamat, the monstrous brood, like halos, making us into divine beings, glowing with the radiance of the gods.


This is a task which will not be easily accomplished!

I had grown complacent, while I am definitely not lazy and willing to do the work, my ego had unconsciously taken a firm hold of me, probably caused by the tremendous power of the ancient Worm, Mother Tiamat, that had filled my being with barely contained force, making me feel like a god, a dark and powerful god. Mainly because in engaging this power I had not only survived, but did so with my sanity still intact. Relating this experience to Brothers who walked this Path before I did, and then having it confirmed, while laughing about my ignorance of the fate that might very well have struck me dead, or perhaps worse, was an awesome feeling. My Brother laughed too, sheepishly asking me if he did tell me about what might occur if things went awry. Well, he didn’t! And it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, for the fear of death and the possibility of a multitude of insanity does not shake me.

“No man alive has ever witnessed struggles I survive”

(Tupac Shakur)

Death seems to be always in close proximity to me, yet for reasons I only just begin to comprehend it never touched me, even though it came so close at times, having survived severe car crashes, avoided stabbings and shootings, having remained whole and healthy while someone very close to me died of a rare and unknown illness which did not affect me in any way, having shrugged of the ill and devastating effects of overdosing, emerging from battle in which the twenty of us were outnumbered five to one, facing the foe alone without any regard for safety to help my friend who got knocked the fuck out, striking fear into the enemy by wielding my weapons with skill, macing some fool while my heavy chain flicked back and forth, threatening to crush the skull of any who came near, that I could feel it raging in impotency at my protected being, making my flesh and spirit off limits to this hollow one. Yet it bides its time, and when I screw up it will not hesitate to cut my cord with its fearsome scythe.

Insanity has been my companion for many years and I know it intimately, yet it is unable to lay hold of me. It might touch me, and it might dig its long skeletal claws deep into my mind, but it cannot possess me, for not only am I strong of will and mind, but I also enjoy the backup of the individuals who I proudly and affectionately call my Brothers. The members I am closely affiliated with all know the part they play in my wellbeing, and I know what part I play in theirs. Nonetheless I must extend honor and gratitude to two of those members, for it are these two who play an important role in teaching me how to properly use the Systems, as well as saving my ass on multiple occasions.

Brother Warlock, where to begin….

They say that each individual is unique, that no two are the same, but you, my dear Brother, transcend that very concept. You are an anomaly, for thou art truly one of a kind, even among the children of the DinGir. I look to you as I would to a father, praising your name for the part you play in my development, smiling in delight at the thought that I learned my Art directly, though not in person, from this legend, this living legend. Most individuals who have the potential to become legends only do so after some nasty, or untimely physical demise. But not you, my Brother! You have already acquired a legendary status while still very much alive and kicking. And while these words are my own I know for a fact that my opinion is shared by many members, and even by people who do not directly follow our ways. Frankly I could write a whole post on your greatness and what you mean to us, to the Tradition, but that will not be necessary, for I know your sober views on these praises.

Just be proud Brother!

For in the way we whisper the names of Enmenduranki, Enheduanna, Inanna, and all those of old who make us exalted in this day and age, your name will be spoken too, with great reverence and respect, for in the days of old it was Enheduanna who restored the ways of En-men-dur-ana, but it was you (and your companions) on who was bestowed this incredible honor in this modern era.

You, us, we, are creating history in the making….

Which leads me to another Brother whom I also hold in very high regard, Brother Amadi,  as he took on the role of mentor during Warlock’s absence, teaching me stuff that most of you will probably never hear off, allowing me a rare glimpse into the personal practices of an adept, a true child of the DinGir, whose power and knowledge is only second to Warlock’s from what I can see. This Brother also provides me with regular interaction, something which is virtually impossible for someone as busy as Warlock Asylum, from which I learn a great deal and which also is very enjoyable. It was Brother Amadi who lay emphasis on an important matter that I had overlooked in the System of the Oracle, thereby making a grave error in executing the early rites.

In the ancient Mesopotamian and Sumerian incantations we can often find some specific terms mentioning one’s personal god, goddesss, or even both. For those who are still working with the Necronomicon, and who perhaps have never studied any of the older material, this personal god, or goddess, compares to the Watcher, and to the Dead God mentioned on page 195 of the Urilia Text. This does not mean that they are exactly one and the same though, for the Watcher is called from the Underworld, while this is not necessarily true for one’s personal god, or goddess. The reader must keep in mind that I am currently just as ignorant, regarding the material, as the aspiring practitioner, for in the System of the Oracle I am just an Initiate and this new material needs some adapting from one’s current mindset. On top of that one will eventually discover that my posts will be written in less detail, for I have been serving up knowledge like there is no tomorrow, and while I very much enjoy writing it does not help the reader in a constructive manner, providing only the answers. But to really learn one must come to such answers themselves, for in understanding how one reaches the answer one learns so much more.

The personal deity was perceived in ancient Mesopotamia as the individual’s special benefactor, protector, and intercessor in the divine pantheon. Accordingly, the god is characterized with epithets such as “the god who provides good health” (ilu musallimu), “the god who guards you” (ilu nasirka ), “the god at my side” (ila ahiya), and “the god who made me.”  Some texts refer to both a personal god and a personal goddess. In such cases, the divine couple may even be depicted as the individual’s birth parents, a characterization that emphasizes both the intimacy of the relationship between human and deity and the individual’s sense of dependence upon the god. In light of these perceptions of the personal deity, human experiences of virtually any misfortune or malady, if sufficiently severe and pro-longed, could be interpreted as the result of the deity’s displeasure with his/her charge or even the god’s abandonment of the individual. In such dire cases, the person might resort to exceptional measures to restore a felicitous relationship with the deity. As can be found in the following lamentation, originating from the wisdom text Ludlul bel nemeqi  II 1–22:

  1. šattam-ma ana bâlat adanna iteq
  2. asahhur-ma lemun lemun-ma
  3. zapurti utassapa išarti ul uttu
  4. ila alsi-ma ul iddina panišu
  5. usalli ištari ul ušaqqâ rišiša
  6. barû ina biri arkat ul iprus
  7. ina maššakka ša ilu ul ušappi dini
  8. zaqiqu abal-ma ul upatti uzni
  9. mašmaššu ina kitkittê kimilti ul iptur
  10. ayyite epšeti šanâti matitan
  11. amur-ma arkat ridâti ippuru
  12. ki ša tamqitum ana ili la uktinnu
  13. u ina makalê ištarri la zakru
  14. appi la enû šukinni la amru
  15. ina pišu ipparkû suppê tesliti
  16. ibtilu umu ili išetu eššeši
  17. iddû ahšu-ma mišunu imešu
  18. palahu u it’udu la ušalmedu nišišu
  19. ilšu la izkur ekul akalšu
  20. izib ištartašu mashatu la ubla
  21. ana ša imhu belšu imšû
  22. niš ilišu kabti qalliš izkur anaku amšal
The above text, as well as the English translation below, come from a writing called “The Variety of Ritual Applications for Salt and the Maqlu Salt Incantation” by Jeffrey Stackert. Here follows the translation:
  1. One year to the next—the appointed time passed;
  2. I turned round and—evil, evil!
  3. Evil multiples upon me; my prosperity I cannot find.
  4. I cried out to my god, but he did not show his face;
  5. I invoked my goddess, but she did not take notice.
  6. The diviner could not establish the facts with divination;
  7. With incense the dream interpreter could not reveal my case.
  8. I sought a phantom, but he did not open my ears;
  9. The incantation priest could not release my wrath with the ritual.
  10. What strange circumstances all over!
  11. I looked, and in the future lie persecution, conflict!
  12. As one who did not establish a libation offering for the god,
  13. Nor invoked the goddess with food am I.
  14. As one who did not bend the nose, who did not recognize the bow;
  15. From whose mouth prayer and supplication were blocked in.
  16. As one who abandoned the day of the god, who neglected the holiday;
  17. As one who was careless, who neglected their rules;
  18. As one who did not teach his people fear and reverence.
  19. As one who did not invoke the god but rather ate the latter’s food;
  20. As one who ignored his goddess and did not bring the oil vessel.
  21. As one who raves, who forgot his lord;
  22. As one who invoked the honored life of his god lightly am I!
Revere and honor thy personal god and goddess, for it is very important!
Dumu Abzu-a.

5 replies »

  1. Great article brother. I have seen your others articles and I see you affinity with the Dingir, is like you reached home with Asaru. I know how you feel after my first Gate was opened yesterday, Amazing does not begin to cover it. Something is different here from all types of magic that I have practiced. I sent you a couple E-mails. I hope you are fine.


  2. I do like all the knowledge that you have shared with us. But I need to know if there is a substitute for stinging thistle and better ways or words that would make the djinns and watchers and angels and gods and goddess all the spirits of power, become more harmonanized with me? That I can get them to do anything I command or ask. And what makes Ishtar or Inanna a ghaul. I am a seeker of understanding. How can I become the best of the best like the biblical and there is a sheik who was said to have great command power,authority and soverienty over the djinns. Illuminate my understanding with your knowledge that I might see better.


  3. Thank you so much Brother! Congratulations on entering the First Gate!
    I saw your mail allright, but I have been very busy, so I will answer them as soon as possible. 😉


  4. Dear reader, the stinging nettle you mention is only used as a sacrifice to the Watcher. There is indeed a substitute for such sacrifices, though I am unable to discuss that in public, as this knowledge is not to be shared with the uninitiated. As for words one can write his own incantations for use in summonings. They should follow a certain logic though, as certain requirements must be met for it to be a proper incantation.

    Now.. I must give you some strong words of advice!!! Heed them well!!!

    I quote you: “That I can get them to do anything I command or ask.”

    I strongly advise and implore you to abandon this abominable mindset. Deities and spirits are ancient beings who existed long before you and I were born, and will continue to exist long after we have gone to the grave. If there is one thing these beings despise it is a bossy human who suffers from illusions of grandeur, thinking he can order these forces around like some personal servant. I know that this happens in various forms of magick, and it can indeed be done, though such spirits are already servants of a higher spiritual power, and are only allowed to be bossed around by their spiritual superior. In our System, however, you must lose that poor attitude, for the DinGir do not look kindly on such thoughts and intents, and they will abandon you in your darkest hour for the insults heaped upon them in this manner.

    The sheik you mention was not a sheik but a king, for he was no other than King Solomon himself. You can find the spirits he bound in the Goetia. But again I must warn you… The Djinn are very different from human beings. They are superior to us in many ways, and trying to bind them in fashions they do not care for may piss them off to such an extent that you will suffer greatly for your transgressions and disrespect. If you really seek to propagate these magnificent beings then I suggest you should prove your worth to them. This is all I can say on the matter, for the rest of my knowledge on this subject is too dangerous to share with those who are not well versed in these matters.

    I hope you manage to abandon your foolish ideas on these matters, and that you’ll become able to perceive the true goal of our work, for it is magnificent in ways no ordinary human can imagine.

    Best of luck to you, and if you have more questions then please feel free to ask. My reply may sound a little harsh, but this is for your own good. I hope you understand.

    Stay blessed!

    My regards, Dumu Abzu-a.


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