Why is the War On Drugs Being Replaced By A War On Condoms?

Immigration reform?!! We can’t even begin to entertain subject matter of this nature without its contraceptive counterpart. In several countries today, the price of a traditional 3-pack of condoms ranges anywhere from $400 to $800 dollars! Like torture, the game is played when you successfully move to another country. Now the only problem is that you’re locked in a cage with an ex-convict erection, nude women all around you, but in this foreign land premarital sex is illegal and genitalia are subject to inspection. It’s like a catch twenty-two, certain laws are created for people with a different complexion and the value of a “phatty” drops, causing some women to lose their own political elections. Putting all the “love thy neighbor, but  don’t get caught” jokes aside, guess who’s the first poet to get a Trojan endorsement deal? The living imprint for the cast-iron AVN Award itself. Not the category, but the actual award!

How we interact with the slipperiest sexual sides of life can be quite an adventure when best prepared. If you want to find out the truth about a nation’s history, investigate its relationship with intimacy.  See if people are open and honest enough to have an orgy in a land that promotes itself as a melting pot, or is their libido being exhausted from participating in a racial issue that has no finish line? Certainly, the Trump Era has made Americans reassess their values towards life, relationships, and sexuality. Actually, we got a lot more cunnilinguistics on our plates than anticipated.  The arrival of 2017’s Woman’s March sounded an alarm to answer the demand for a  few more condoms to meet the District of Columbia’s needs!



Perhaps you may have heard about the oldest existing condom from 1640 A. D. and realized how much Viagra it took to keep this movement alive. Well, you better hold on to every lady’s “we’ll see” expression because the prices of condoms are skyrocketing through the roof! Back in February 2015 Bloomberg reported a whopping $755 dollars for a pack of condoms in Venezuela! While Americans are concerned about internal affairs, the world around them is in the middle a condom apocalypse:

1. The Philippine Government has blocked it students from receiving condoms at educational institutions.
2. In Gambia, the price of condoms has skyrocketed to nearly D2,000 ($450.00) a pack!
3. Dallas News reports efforts by China to remove the Trump name off of condoms.
4. Indonesia intentionally reduces the sale of condoms by outlawing Valentine’s Day.
5. The Islamic Country of Malaysia is the World’s Biggest Condom Maker & The United States Its Biggest Customer.
6. In 2012, A pro-life event at the Rhode Island State House was disrupted by Occupy Wall Street protesters who heckled speakers and dumped condoms on Catholic girls in the crowd.
7. February 2017, teacher finds 5-year-old student chewing on condom that was found in playground.
8. Health Official in Zimbabwe publicly declares not to give condoms to students.
9. Knights of Malta leader, Matthew Festing, resigns because of a dispute with Pope Francis over condoms.

Condoms are a growing issue in the news. Maybe not in this generation, but a future where fear can live to tell what horrors will arise in the legalization of prostitution. Think about it! if there’s no free water, no free land anymore, sex is the most vulnerable thing to buy as commerce. In an era, where elections are won, merely on the discussion of jobs and not the growing sex slavery industry, buying stock in a condom company might just be the best investment.