awareness

How to Repair A Friendship That Was Lost Over A Facebook Posting

How can we repair relationships that were lost over a Facebook posting.

How can we repair relationships that were lost over a Facebook posting.

Since the birth of the Computer Age, human beings have been adjusting to new avenues of digital communication. For the first time in human history, the powers of the mind no longer extends itself by itself, as is the case with clairvoyance, but through the use of cyber-tools and networks. The sum of all of this technology has produced the benefit of a smaller world. People from different walks of life and cultures that were once separated by thousands of miles are now closer than our physical next door neighbors.

Our neighborhoods are no longer physical, but digital and virtual. In the wake of such technological advancements, we can perhaps speculate that the lurking superstitions of race and bi-polar nationalities will one day fade into oblivion.

While the benefits of a computerized melting pot are recreating American and global platforms of socialization, it would be wrong to assume that cyber-friendships and relationships are flawless and perfect. On the contrary, topics such as cyberbullying and cyberstalking are real issues. We have to remember that advancements in technology are not human advancements. If we are not engaging in the work of cultivating our hearts and minds, then we will remain as primates with an Ipad.

Facebook is the largest social network at this present time. Social networks are a cool way to meet new people and stay in contact with friends, relatives, and workmates. It’s kind of like visiting a virtual nightclub where everyone is too embarrassed to get on the dance floor, but can feel comfortable in doing what every else is doing, not minding their own business. This is the world we live in today.

Unfortunately, there have been situations where long-time friends are now enemies over a disagreement caused by a political, religious, or sexist Facebook posts. Facebook not only affords us the opportunity to keep in contact with friends and relatives, but observe how much they have grown in life. Maybe they might just be in the same place and same mind that you found them at ten years ago. Some things change and some things don’t!

“And if you don’t like what I’m saying then just delete me from your friends list!” Many of us have heard statements like these and wonder if having a Facebook account is really worth it, if it will result in the loss of a friendship, or a relationship. In either case, are there ways to restore the loss of a union after someone presses the delete button? Let’s take a look at a few suggestions.

1-REMEMBER THAT FACEBOOK IS NOT YOUR LIFE. Facebook is a recent communal development. It’s not life itself. There are some people in the world, however, whose life depends on how many “likes” they receive from a comment or posting. The Facebook “like button” is not a sign of success.  It is important to remember this! But this argument can go either way, as some people with an attitude, or those who may not agree with a particular lifestyle, won’t hit the “like” button if they see a posting that conflicts with their own philosophy.  This is quite interesting because you can see who is an ethnocentrist, a racist, and a sexist based on the “like button” voting power. In such cases, it is important to be the bigger person.

Facebook is not life. Therefore, as in life, do what you need to do for your own sake. Post what you need to post for your own sake. Of course you will have your various “conscious lunatics,” who claim to be free thinkers by setting their boundaries in imitation of everything that a slave owner would want out of his cattle. “Don’t date anybody out of your race!” “It’s us versus them! They killed one of us!”  Ironically, in the wake of such superficial disparity, wherein you fall into the same category as they do by common law, nothing divine of course, they will ignore you if you’re not promoting the hate that they find delightful. In such cases, keep an imaginary middle finger tucked away in your mind. It should be stored in a place that no one else can see. Use it when situations of this nature arise.  Don’t allow others to bully you into a “conscious” movement that is completely unconscious.

Yet, at the same time you have to be the bigger person also. Spiritually, we know that resentment leads to poverty. It is the karma of investing in such thinking. If you have truly obtained the joy of living for your own self, no one can take that away from you.  Reality dictates that are souls with lessons to learn. It is better to watch the process instead of trying to make someone else’s process our own.

2-BE AGREEABLE TO DISAGREEMENTS. I am sure that our Facebook friends’ list carries a wide variety of people from various backgrounds. Some of the differences we have with members of our friends list are what brought them into our lives to begin with. Maybe, we might be able to learn something from the differences we have with our friends. They could represent an angle in life we may need to cultivate. This benefit, however, cannot be seen if we are insecure and seeking only to be right in front of others.

3-IGNORE SUPERFICIALITY.  If people were to use Facebook as a social tool, they could actually climb out of economic woe! There would be no 1% of the American population having more money that 99% of the population. The only problem in this case is that the 99% will continually implement classism in their personal interactions with others. Let’s face it there are a lot of people who are trying to achieve some form of prominence among their generation by the use of Facebook.  They will jealously monitor the attention that others are receiving from their Facebook posts, as they feel that such praise should be directed towards them.  ‘Why did they get so many likes? I wanted to be the first person to post a picture of my penis with no makeup on!”

Once again we are back at a physical nightclub, where everybody is looking at an empty dance floor while holding their drinks. Let’s see who’ll make the first move. Why do we keep friends on our friends list that we don’t communicate with? Is it because we think that the rules of popularity are a caste-system? Oh I won’t answer them, like I love them, but they’re not an “in-love-with-them” type of Facebook friend. Maybe you should start off by being honest with your Facebook family. Let them know where they stand at from time to time. Is it possible that you can believe that democracy is the best form of government while acting like a dictator on Facebook?

When we encounter superficial people, treat them as human beings who are still growing up. No one needs to be disrespected and being ignored while reaching out to a “friend” is not appropriate, but guess what? Life goes on and one day they will receive the much needed wakeup call that true fame is about maintaining a good reputation with your friends and family, not ignoring those who love you in order to make an impression upon strangers. Now what sort of mental illness this is and that you can help them by letting any future expectations of them go because now you can see them for who they are, which is what relationships are all about.  Keep the expectations of these sort of folks low.

Exhaust all avenues in keeping a friend. Opinions are opinions and opinions usually represent the voices of spiritual friends entering our minds.  Use discernment. Sometimes it’s good to let those that are in our Facebook element to know how we feel about them and how much value we gain from having a friendship with them.  That’s where it all began anyway.

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