The Spirit Of A Warrior: Warlock Asylum Interviews Necronomicon Legend Sagdili Urbara
Greetings! I would like to welcome everyone to the Simon Necronomicon Gate-Walker’s Info Page. If this is your first time here, please feel free to browse through many of our articles listed in the “menu” section. Well, over the past few years I have met quite a few Initiates of the Necronomicon Tradition. In my early “wanderings,” I came across a young man who was barely 15 years of age (the number of Ishtar is the minimum age for these workings), and I must say that I was impressed with his knowledge and understanding of Sumerian mythology and his overall perspective on life at such a young age. This teenager has grown in years and has become a self-made man. Sagdili Urbara, has contributed much to the Necronomicon Tradition while working in the shadows, as many Gate-Walkers do. We had a chance to reconnect with him recently, and I thought our Readership would enjoy listening to our conversation.
Warlock Asylum: For our readers who are unfamiliar with your person, can you please give us a little background info about your person?
Sagdili Urbara: In the Necronomicon Tradition, I go by Sagdili Urbara. In regards to my background, my first exposure to the occult was through family members who practiced various forms of folk magick, based on the indigenous beliefs and traditions our culture. As for the Necronomicon Path – I’ve been a practitioner of this current for little over nine years now.
Magick has always been a part of my life, although I didn’t realize this as a youth, but I began to see it as I grew older. I just thought that a lot of what I was learning was intriguing, but not really anything out of the ordinary. Despite knowing that a few members of my family do practice indigenous folk magick, I do not claim a lineage, nor does anyone in my immediate family. Coming from a Catholic background, these practices were altogether shunned, even though many, who do practice folk magick, were very much Catholic themselves (passionately so may I add). That being said, I also want to state that folk magick wasn’t wide spread in my family, and was more limited to certain individuals. I guess you could call it one of our family secrets.
Warlock Asylum: How did you discover the Necronomicon Tradition, and what effect has it had on your life?
Sagdili Urbara: I first discovered the Necronomicon Tradition when I was around 13 years old. I was not really that interested in the occult with the exception of the folk beliefs I was taught. Not that I didn’t find any value in the occult, just that as a kid, I was more interested in girls, music, and playing sports. Even then, I didn’t see the occult as a huge deal. I just thought it was something that most people didn’t really know about, and as such, were a little freaked out by what they didn’t understand.
Now, I always had a fascination for horror movies, a trait that I inherited from my mother. I was especially into the cult classics, and I was a huge fan of the Evil Dead series, which was my first exposure to the word “Necronomicon.” It was around that time that I started reading H.P Lovecraft. Mind you, being 13 years old, some parts were difficult to understand due to Lovecraft’s archaic style of writing. But what I did understand really got me hooked, especially all the references to the Necronomicon. Then I found the Simon Necronomicon, and the rest was history. This wasn’t really some profound search for truth or knowledge, just an innocent curiosity. As I progressed and grew, it became a way of life, and eventually I even found a great mentor.
The changes in my life in relation to my work with this current are too numerous to list. Most people when asked aren’t really specific. This I believe is due to the personal nature of spiritual growth and evolution. But for those who are new at this, I’ll try to give a little taste of what I went through without giving away too much personal detail.
After Walking the Gates, I felt like I had a sense of completion, relief, and what some mystics in the past have called “a revelation through understanding”. In other words, I had a ton of “ah-ha” moments for every Gate I crossed. Many of these personal and spiritual lessons that I’ve learned also manifested themselves into major events in my life. In regards to the more “practical” results, I can say that when I was younger, I had a certain apprehension and anxiousness to certain aspects of the occult, which now, I no longer have. I’ve also found that not only can I engage different spiritual practices with greater confidence, and understanding, I can also engage in them in a more holistic and profound manner. I would say that working with the Gates definitely helps you trigger certain states more quickly, and that of course, takes practice though.
Warlock Asylum: What experience impressed you the most while Walking the Gates?
Sagdili Urbara: I would say that the most profound experience I had was while walking Ganzier. I had at that point become involved in certain practices which in the long run, were definitely detrimental to my spiritual development. Even though there was something in the back of my mind that recognized this (perhaps the HGA?), I didn’t seem to want to get out of it. It really had a lot to do with how material driven I had become. I was willing to work with all kinds of energies, even those that I could not connect with spiritually, simply for the fulfillment of my ego. In other words, I had left spiritual mastery for “practical sorcery”.
From the very first time I walked Nanna Gate, I knew I was changing. A lot of it of course had to do with being a teenager at the time, but combined with spiritual work, there was something more going on. If you really think about it this is a lot for a young occultist to digest. Many of us were involved in this work in our teens during times where we are generally changing. Now just imagine adding spiritual work to that? Look back at those times and look at how much you’ve progressed since then. If you haven’t changed much, even after all the spiritual work you’ve been doing, maybe you need to reevaluate where you are, and what it is you’re doing.
Prior to walking Ganzier, I had a feeling of empowerment. Mind you, some Gates were more difficult than others, but in essence, certain aspects of myself were being broken down and slowly rebuilt. True transformation, I would say, came from Ganzier.
Now at that time, there was a lot of death around me. Not one day went by that I didn’t either see death, or hear of someone’s death from people around me. The deaths that had affected me the most were that of a close friend of mine who took his own life unexpectedly and violently. It especially hurt me since it was someone that I had mocked most of the time for his shortcomings. In my family as well, we experienced death, which given the nature of what happened, especially hurt me. All in all, I would say that three people I knew personally died within the span of one month. Emotionally, I was in a very dark and angry place for various reasons, not just recent deaths. These were things which had built up over time. It didn’t really help that I also started working with negative energies, and especially energies associated with death and necromancy.
Yes, that’s right – I said negative! Some occultists have this idea that all beliefs are positive, and good, and blah blah. But we know damn well that that’s not true. There are negative energies out there. Some are even disguised as good. These forces patiently wait to tempt the occultist away from actual spiritual work. They relish in the fact that most occultists are rather impatient, power hungry, and eager to worship things for the sake of that power, or just eager to worship in general. I had once believed that spirits in general were neutral, and with some coercing or with “respectfully approaching” them, they would be more than eager to help. This I find to be not true. Many of these forces have their own motives. They are not things outside of our psyche as some like to believe. These beings are real, and most of them could give a rat’s ass about you no matter what you offer them, how you approach them, or what they promise you.
This may sound a bit like an evangelical pastor, but from my experience, some of this is quiet true. Just because a group of people follow certain forces and practices that have benefitted them, does not necessarily make whatever it is they follow positive. Of course there are some things which a few people just don’t understand that may actually have something good to offer the occultist. Again however, I caution you on your approach, and would suggest a combination of study and intuition to make a decision.
My lowest and most humiliating point was when I had all of a sudden become superstitious. Superstitious to the point of slight paranoia, it really was a tough time. When I finally crossed Ganzier, everything came together. I had changed. It took a while for it all to assimilate, but after Ganzier it just made sense. I had found my way back to a path of actual spiritual mastery, rather than petty material things, and quests for power. I would say that after Ganzier, true assimilation begins.
Warlock Asylum: What advice would you give to practitioners of the Necronomicon Tradition and those interested in occult studies overall?
Sagdili Urbara: Well, a lot of things are subjective. What I experienced will probably be different from what others have or will have gone through. But I’ll try to give some general advice and relate it to what I’ve learned. Here are some things to consider:
- No matter what tradition you work with, YOU WILL CHANGE! DO NOT FIGHT IT! You will find that certain things, ideas, and people in your life will not be relevant to you any longer. Those things that still remain after your transformation however, will become far more valuable than before, and will be more in line with your spiritual growth. This happens so that the right elements in your life can slowly enter, or stay for that matter, so that you can finally take the next steps in your spiritual development. You will look at things differently. This is good. One of the most painful experiences will probably be saying goodbye to a mentor, order, ile, group, tradition, or whatever. It will happen to some, and I’ve seen it happen. Hell, it happened to me. Do not be afraid to say goodbye. Yes, you’ve learned from them. But sometimes, connections are broken, beliefs change, and things fade away. It’s painful, but it happens. In the end you change for the better. And like I said before, what does remain now has more value, and is more aligned with who you are spiritually.
- QUESTION EVERYTHING. I mean it! I love how many people, especially occultists, like to regurgitate that phrase, especially when others disagree with them. Yet these same people don’t even question their own ideas or provide proof (especially scholarly at that) on how they came by those conclusions. Sure occult knowledge should be based on actual work. But one cannot ignore the writings of mystics that came before. You need a point of reference. Anyway, you will hear a lot of bullshit out there. In the occult this is widespread. Pseudo-scholars who are trying to be “different” will spit out any half baked idea they can. Despite the fact that we must respect all beliefs, some ideas are just plain nonsense. CALL THESE INDIVIDUALS OUT! Look at this website for example. Some may not agree with the ideas presented here, but there is clear and concise research in this site that combines both personal experiences, and scholarly references to other scholars and occultists. This is what separates true scholars from the average wannabe. I’ll give you another example, this time in regards to the Necronomicon Tradition specifically. Some people like to compare Enki with the Christian concept of Satan. They like to say that because Satan gave knowledge to Eve. It’s kind of like Enki giving knowledge to humans. If we examine this closely using actual scholarship from Sumeriologists, anthropologist, theologians etc, it’s nonsense. I blame the fact that most people in the West have a very Eurocentristic way of looking at things and like to impose that Eurocentrism on the indigenous beliefs of other cultures. Going back to the example above, it doesn’t even take into consideration the Judaic or Islamic concept of “the devil”, despite the fact that many people are out there trying to “bring down” the Abrahamic traditions. I know I’m being rather controversial here. Again these are my views. But if you’re going to go around claiming some off the wall shit, you better have good sources to back it up. That should also be the case in regards to spiritual experiences too. Some spiritual experiences will be very impressive. But if you can’t find sources in some form of precedent, then maybe you need to take a more objective view at what it is you’re experiencing. This is a very emotional and touchy subject. But it must be done, and must be stated so that people aren’t led down the wrong path. This is also a good reason why occultists should always seek mentors, even though they may be solo practitioners (like I am for example).
- Although the occult is serious work and will take a huge part of your life, don’t forget to just breathe. What I mean is, enjoy life. Don’t be some secluded hermit, but also, don’t go all super libertine either. Just enjoy life as you explore the occult. Be wary of those who try to be all “dark” and “mysterious”, and who try to sound cool with uber “unconventional” occult knowledge. This goes back to questioning everything. Just be yourself, even though who you are will continuously change. But to summarize, exercise, play sports, go clubbing, go to a cool concert, have a cup of tea, hell have a beer if that’s your thing. Just remember to enjoy yourself. Don’t take yourself too seriously either. Trust me I use to be the same way. It’s not worth it, both for your own personal growth, and your social life.
- TRUE SPIRITUAL GROWTH IS BORING. Yes I said it! True spiritual growth is actually very boring, painfully so at times. If this happens then chances are you are on track with your work. Don’t jump around from system to system. This is a trap of the ego and one that I had fallen into as well. It took me a while to get back on track, but eventually I did. I will also add something controversial here as well. There will be times when the lust for power will overcome your goals of spiritual mastery. This often comes with those who would rather explore “practical sorcery” rather than actual spiritual growth. If all you want to do is practice sorcery rather than true spiritual growth, then that is fine. Define your goals early. Sorcery is a very beneficial path in the material world, and one that I had worked with in the past and had great success. If that is where you are right now so continue to explore your interests. But if your goal is actual spiritual development, then once you are on that path, intend to finish it. Do not abandon that path once you are on it for more glamorous pursuits. Real magick is actually quiet, boring, stuffy, conservative, and even tedious. There will be a “Dark Night of the Soul”! Some Christian mystics for example have gone through this for close to 20 years or so in their lifetime before they found actual inner peace and realization. Crowely compared it to the A in IAO. Remember that, and things will get better, and will be more worth it in the long run. You’ll be surprised.
Warlock Asylum: What other forms of spirituality have you explored?
Sagdili Urbara: Early on, I use to practice folk based magic. I am no longer involved in this path. While I enjoyed and learned a lot from my time involved in the indigenous traditions of my ancestors, I am in a point in my spiritual development where it no longer serves me. I have great respect for my past, don’t get me wrong! But things have changed, and right now, that does not serve me.
Currently I am studying Sufism. This is where I’ve been lead to. Although this is probably an obvious thing to say, you know the level of someone’s commitment by how much effort they actually put into learning something. In my case, I’ve travelled to North Africa and will be going to the Middle East soon. I’m currently also studying Arabic, the Quran, and working with an order for initiation into a Tariqa (path). I believe that this is it for me. Yes that’s a bold statement to make, but I do believe that this is my main calling spiritually. I did a 180 on this one, but what can I say?
I also still consider myself a a ceremonial occultist. There are various aspects, which do not contradict what I am currently studying. While I do not mix and match like a chaos magician would, there are still certain truths which are basically the same, different ways of getting there, but still the same. So far, at least in its essential form, I do not find anything contradictory in either. I would say the main difference is in prayer. Remember, a lot of ceremonial work is based on the Kabbalah (or at least an occultist interpretation of it), which is basically Jewish mysticism. Islamic mysticism isn’t all that far off, but I would not mix these practices.
I’ve also recently found a close affinity for Yoga, not the Americanized, new age, fitness programs you have now, but actual mysticism. Again, I do not mix and match. But I will say in summery that Sufism, Yoga, and some aspects of the Ceremonial tradition are my main focus now, with the former being the most prominent in my practices.
Warlock Asylum: How did the knowledge you gain while Walking the Gates help set the stage for another spiritual journey outside of the Necronomicon Tradition?
Sagdili Urbara: What I learned from the being a Gate-Walker might make a few out there cringe. But I encourage those to find their own path and not necessarily take my word as absolute. Walking the Gates, I’ve learned that these names (Nanna, Shamash, Marduk, etc) are just names of universal aspects, which are represented through the Gates. Walking the Gates, puts us in touch with these universal aspects, each ruled in relation to various astrological correspondences, more specifically, planetary. That is all. I do not worship any god, goddess, or being. I do not care for superstitious worship either. Call me a monotheist if that suits you, but I follow only the Supreme Reality, the Higher Goal, the Great Work. All else, at least in my view, are avatars of the unified source.
Like I’ve stated before, I’ve also encountered some rather negative forces out there. These are not part of that great Source. Rather, these are the glamorous illusions which strive to take you off that path of spiritual growth. Now I don’t mean illusions in the sense that these forces aren’t real. Rather, they are illusions in the sense that you are chasing after things which are not based on reality. One thing I learned from the Sufis is that there is no reality but the Supreme Reality. Traditionally this was called God – “La ilaha ilallah” there is no god but God. Whatever you decide to call it, doesn’t really matter. Many occultists call it the Source. The Sufis call it the Supreme Reality.
For me, the Source is the ultimate goal, not the aspects of the Source. While it may be beneficial at certain points to work with the different names of the Source, I only do so if it leads me to the ultimate goal – the fulfillment of the Great Work. I would say that the knowledge I’ve gained with the Necronomicon has now led me to embrace mysticism before any other spiritual practices.
I’ve also found that the blinds in the Necronomicon Spiritual Tradition are usually the most obvious. Ask yourself this for everything that you do:
- How will this advance or benefit my spiritual (emphasis on that) growth?
- Am I doing this for spiritual reasons, or for earthly, material purposes?
- Is what I am doing ESSENTIAL for my spiritual development, or is it just extra glamour to distract me from the real goal?
Warlock Asylum: What changes have you seen in your life since incorporating spirituality principles?
Sagdili Urbara: I’ve matured-matured on every level. So will anyone who practices spiritual growth sincerely. More importantly, my goals in life are more aligned with my own happiness and personal freedom, rather than the will of others, if it doesn’t bring about true happiness, or a true sense of freedom, than it is obviously detrimental to my growth and therefore, not worth my time.
Happiness and freedom. There will be many obstacles and tribulations before one reaches it. I’m glad that I myself have reached it to a certain extent, despite the fact that I have a lot of work to do in my spiritual growth. I’m still not there yet, but then again, I find that most people don’t reach it until they’re much older. This path is a lifelong path, and a rather interesting one at that. But overall, I believe that spiritual development is meant to bring about wisdom, happiness, and freedom, despite the fact that it’s a bitch to get there.
Warlock Asylum: Any final thoughts?
Sagdili Urbara: Spiritual growth does not make you a saint, or lofty. Rather, it helps you to accept your human mistakes more, and gives you a way to work on them.
The final goal is true freedom, wisdom, and happiness. A way to break free from the rat race. This is a dangerous process. In fact it’s a scary thing. You will no longer be the same again.